


something i can never have

by paulmcmuffin



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), I'm not sure where this will go, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, anyway, basically this is just both of them pining for each other, i'm totally winging it y'know, i've been working on this for a few weeks and i'm finally posting it!!, it's painful, okay so here's another multichapter fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26253406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paulmcmuffin/pseuds/paulmcmuffin
Summary: Makoto and Togami are hopelessly in love with each other, but they don't know that. A painful description of their emotions and how both of them think they can never have the other.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 13
Kudos: 89





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> hello again!! so, this time i'm back with a new multichapter fic. this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now, but i feel like now is the right time to publish it. i've always been a huge fan of pining, especially mutual pining, so here's something i developed out of that trope. hopefully you'll stick with this story as well! <3

The dining hall was empty, and Makoto Naegi sighed quietly. It was pretty late already, and every other student of Hope’s Peak Academy was in their dorms or studying somewhere else. Makoto knew that he was supposed to be doing schoolwork as well, but he just couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about something else entirely – or rather, _someone_ else. He drew a hand through his messy brown hair and slumped on the table with a loud thump.

_Why can’t I just let it go?_

The thoughts about a certain gorgeous, tall blonde boy had been occupying his mind for literally weeks. Makoto cursed himself for falling for such a distant and cold person who had such a strong wall built around him that nobody could ever tear it down. Why had his heart had to pick a person like _Byakuya Togami_? There were much friendlier and easier people to hang out with in the school, but no, it just had to be the most difficult one of them. The Togami heir was such a hard person to understand, too. Makoto had been analyzing the boy’s movements, tone of voice, gestures and expressions like a private detective or something and he still couldn’t wrap his head around him. Togami seemed like the kind of person who just didn’t want anyone near him, who was a selfish prick that didn’t care about anything else than his own success. But, somehow, Makoto didn’t want to believe that was all there was to the boy. Maybe it was just the works of his smitten heart, but it didn’t really matter to him. After all, Makoto was known for his optimism and hopeful way of thinking.

_Oh my god, get a grip, Naegi! You have been sitting here for hours thinking about him! Get your ass up and do something._

Just as Makoto was about to get up and make his way to the dorms, his eyes met with a pair of pretty blue ones that were staring at him from the doorway.

_No way._

There he was, Byakuya Togami, in all of his beauty. Almost a foot taller than Makoto, shining blonde hair, white-framed eyeglasses, perfectly fitting black suit and the most beautiful face in the entire existence. And Makoto was already short of breath.

_How can anyone be so beautiful?_

“H-hi, Togami-kun”, Makoto greeted the boy with a shaky voice. He blamed his weak heart for beating too fast and making him stutter like that. Not that good of a look, to be honest.

“Evening, Naegi”, Togami said with no expressiveness in his voice whatsoever. The look on his face was the regular one: eyebrows knitted together into a deep frown, lips pressed together into a pout and eyes glaring kind of intimidatingly. Someone could have said that the bitchy look on the heir’s face made him look less attractive and kind of off-putting – but not Makoto.

“What are you doing here at this hour?” the brunette asked while smiling sheepishly. He wished that he gave off a casual impression and that Togami wouldn’t pay any attention to the way he kept fiddling with the hem of his hoodie.

“I came here to make a cup of tea for myself. You should know this by now since you’re always following me around anyway.” Makoto tried to hide his blush somehow, and Togami quirked one of his eyebrows. “I think you being here this late makes much less sense.”

_Shit._

Makoto was thinking of a way to not make the blonde suspect anything. He knew that he’d been acting pretty suspicious lately, but he just couldn’t confront Togami about it. He was certain that telling the other boy about his feelings would change absolutely nothing. If anything, it would only make things all the more complicated. In spite of all this, Makoto couldn’t stop himself from wanting to be near Togami, following him around, talking with him about everything and nothing. And once again, Makoto cursed his heart for being so weak and open.

“Uhh, I– I was just about to leave, y’know, I came here to eat something, and now I’m done, so I’m leaving, yeah!” Makoto stumbled with his words and kept staring at his feet. He could feel his face heating up. Why was a simple conversation with Togami such a hard task for him? Ridiculous!

The heir just looked at the smaller boy and scoffed a little. He crossed his arms in usual manner and glared at Makoto. “Get on with it, then. I have absolutely no interest in chitchatting with you”, he said. Makoto turned his face upwards and looked at Togami with a hurt expression. Of course, he knew that that was just the way the blonde communicated with everyone, but he still kept on hoping that one day, maybe, perhaps, he would speak with a little softer tone to him. Though, why would that ever be the case?

“O-okay. See you later, Togami-kun”, the brunette said with a fake cheerfulness in his voice, waved goodbye to his crush and stepped out of the dining hall, looking down. He made his way toward his dorm and sighed deeply.

_He could never like me in that way._

Makoto opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him carefully. He went straight to his bed and decided to go to sleep. There was no need to mope around like this.

***

_What were the odds of him being here just when I step in?_

Togami was still standing in the doorway, covering his mouth with his hand, trying to calm his breath. His heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest, his palms were sweaty, his breathing ragged. Just seeing Makoto Naegi there, sitting, clearly daydreaming about something, looking all cute and adorable had sent the heir into some kind of panic. The evening sunlight hit the brunette’s freckled face, illuminating it in the most beautiful way possible, making the small boy almost glow in the light. And Togami had already been out of breath.

As he just stood there, hiding his burning face in his hands, feeling hopeless and useless, Togami wondered what Makoto had been thinking about when he had caught the boy in the dining hall.

_What I would do for it to have been me… But why would he be thinking of me? I’m always so rude toward him, and I don’t even know why that is!_

“Idiot”, Togami muttered under his breath.

“Who are you calling an idiot this time?” he heard someone asking from behind his back. Togami turned to look at the speaker and noticed that it had been Asahina. Of course.

“That’s none of your business”, the blonde answered while adjusting his eyeglasses. The swimmer girl rolled her brown eyes and crossed her arms.

“Actually, it kind of is, if you’re calling one of my friends an idiot. I don’t tolerate that kind of name-calling – not even from you, Togami.”

The heir turned his look away from the girl and sighed. “Well, in that case, you really don’t have any reason to scold me. You see, I was calling myself an idiot, and to my understanding, we’re not friends.” Then, he turned his back to the dining hall and left, walking swiftly toward the dorms, not saying a single word to Asahina after that. The swimmer was left in the dining hall, wondering what the blonde boy had actually meant by that.

_There you go, once again. Being the usual prick toward everyone. Why would someone as hopeful and optimistic as Naegi ever be interested in you? Moron._

As he reached his room, Togami opened the door, feeling let down by his own actions. Why did he have to be so rude and unfriendly? Why couldn’t he be more like the brunette he so much adored? Positive, hopeful, considerate… Togami stepped into his tidy dorm, mind on Makoto, once again. He took a seat on his bed and let himself drown in the thoughts of Makoto’s cute, freckled face that lit up ever so slightly every time the two of them met. But why was that? Why did the other boy seem to smile at least a little when he brushed pass Togami in the corridors? It couldn’t mean anything, it had to be the heir’s flawed interpretation, maybe even hallucination. He just wanted the brunette to like him, for some reason. The thought of Makoto sacrificing even one tiny thought to Togami during the day made the blonde blush. He collapsed onto the bed, hiding his burning face in the pillow. Why did this have to be so hard? It was just Makoto, wasn’t it? Why did the small brunette make the usually very composed heir lose all of his dignity like this?

_And to top it all off, this is useless. Nothing can ever come out of this. You’re just wasting your time on someone you can never have._

Pathetic.

***

The next morning, Makoto woke up, feeling drained. He hadn’t slept properly since all of his intrusive thoughts had been about Togami. Togami and his pretty blond hair, blue eyes shining in the sunlight in such a captivating way, face so beautiful Makoto couldn’t even try to describe it. And, of course, the intoxicating feeling the brunette felt every time the blonde boy only glanced at his general direction, usually scrunching up his pretty nose while doing so. Others could have interpreted that look as one they’d never want to see on anyone’s face ever again, but Makoto somehow enjoyed being the target of Togami’s dismissive gaze. At least it meant that the heir noticed him, and that was all Makoto wanted; to be noticed by the other boy.

_God, I want him to keep looking at me like that forever._

The brunette finally got up from the bed and changed into his regular clothes. He looked at the clock on his desk: 7.30 am. He still had time to eat breakfast before the first lesson of the day. He made his way to the corridors and then the dining hall. As he entered the huge room, Makoto’s eyes immediately landed on one specific pretty blonde boy.

_Oh my god, he’s still here._

Togami was sitting on his own, sipping on his morning coffee while reading a book at the same time. He looked so elegant, having his long legs crossed, holding the cup delicately in his right hand, flipping through the pages and occasionally brushing a few strands of blonde hair behind his ear. Makoto’s breath hitched once again, and he felt a little blush creeping its way on his cheeks. Feet glued to the floor; eyes fixed on the heir in front of him. Oh, come on.

Then, out of nowhere, said heir turned his look away from the book, right directly at Makoto.

_He must’ve noticed me staring. Oh fuck._

“Morning, Naegi”, Togami greeted the brunette and went back to reading. _Greeted_. He never greeted anyone.

“M-morning, Togami-kun”, Makoto answered, baffled. The blonde was usually the most distant person ever, not even bothering to say anything to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. But now, he was saying good morning to Makoto, all of a sudden. Why?

The brunette felt a little braver now and decided to test the waters just for the heck of it. “Uhh, is it okay if I sit here with you?” he asked Togami, who just glared at him, looking slightly annoyed. The blonde closed his book and sighed.

“I guess there’s no reason for me to decline.”

_For real?_

For real. Togami was offering Makoto a seat at his table. A seat _next to him_ , to be exact. Makoto was almost certain that his heart would actually jump up to his throat this time. He tried his best to calm his nerves down, but just the mere thought of being next to Togami, feeling his body heat radiating from him, warming Makoto up, sensing the blonde’s presence right next to him… It clouded the brunette’s mind, made him feel like breathing wasn’t an option anymore. Despite of all that, he took the offer gladly and sat down next to the pretty boy, so that there were only a few inches between them. Makoto turned to look at Togami immediately, marveling at the other boy’s beauty, feeling his blush deepening slightly. Togami had gone back to reading the book, and now he was flipping through the pages again, sipping on his coffee, pinky slightly lifted up. The look on his face was concentrated, and it seemed like he had completely forgotten about the fact that Makoto was sitting right next to him. Makoto admired the blonde’s ability to get so invested into something as boring as a book. Reading had always been very tedious to the brunette, and he had never found any kind of enjoyment out of it. But now that he kept seeing Togami reading almost all the time, he had realized he actually wanted to give it a second chance sometime.

_What would it be like reading something together with Togami-kun, cuddled up next to him, leaning into him and just enjoying the book and Togami-kun’s company…?_

There he was again, completely rapt into daydreams of him being with Togami. But that would never turn into reality. There was not even a slight chance of it ever happening. Ever.

***

_Is he still staring at me? Why is he staring at me? Oh my god I can’t concentrate on anything that I’m reading while his pretty hazel eyes are glued to me like that!_

Togami’s hands were sweaty as hell. He was trying more than his best to make out the meanings of the sentences he kept reading over and over again, but nothing seemed to go through his head; nothing else than Makoto Naegi being literally only a few inches away from him, at least. Why had Togami given the brunette the seat beside him? That had been the single worst decision he could’ve made in that situation, and of course, he’d had to go and make it. Hopeless. The heir was such a hopeless case.

Carefully, Togami took a little glance at the shorter boy, making sure he didn’t notice the sudden shift in his focus. And, to the heir’s fortune, Makoto was looking at an entirely different direction now, head turned. Togami swallowed the lump that had been forming in his throat ever since the cute brunette had stepped into the dining hall and decided to just… go for it. _Even just for a millisecond._

He reached for the other boy’s hand carefully, slowly, and placed his left hand right next to Makoto’s right one, just so that their fingers brushed against each other. Togami hoped that the brunette wouldn’t notice him rubbing his pinky against the other boy’s.

_I want to hold his hand so badly. So badly._

Togami was just about to reach for Makoto’s hand to hold it ever so slightly, when suddenly, the shorter boy flinched.

“Ah–!”

Makoto was staring at Togami, wide eyes, mouth open, cheeks blushing. Togami felt the air being knocked out of his lungs.

_Why did I do that? Why did I do such a thing??_

“Uh– I’m– I’m sorry, Togami-kun, I just– I really, really have to go, I’m sorry”, Makoto stuttered while stumbling and trying to get up. His face was bright red as he finally managed to get up and run out of the crowded dining hall. And there Togami was left, alone, with a pounding heart and an equally red face.

_What– What just happened?_


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Togami and Makoto meet again after the awkward incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! welcome to the second chapter of this fic. i'm glad to have you all here <3 hope you didn't have to wait for too long for this, i've been a bit busy lately, heh. 
> 
> this chapter is a bit shorter, but hopefully you'll enjoy it nevertheless. the next one will be longer, i feel c:

_He touched my hand he touched my hand he touched my hand–_

Makoto kept running until he reached his dorm. He passed many of his classmates on his way, and a few of them turned to look at him with worried faces, including Kyoko. The purple-haired girl whose close friend Makoto was almost tried to stop him, but she thought otherwise as she saw a glimpse of the boy’s blushing face. She always had a way of knowing things quicker than the rest, being the Ultimate Detective, of course.

As he’d reached the door to his dorm, Makoto stopped, supported himself on the wall and panted. He quickly opened the door with the key, wanting to get in as soon as humanly possible. The brunette couldn’t risk being seen by Togami.

_Togami-kun. He touched my hand._

Finally, the door was open, and Makoto rushed in, slamming the door closed and ran straight to his bed. He kicked his sneakers off and hurriedly threw the black blazer on the floor, slumped down on to the soft mattress. He curled up into a little ball and held his burning face in his hands, trying to calm his leaping heart.

_Why did he touch my hand like that? Why did Togami-kun, out of all the people in this school, touch my hand like that? Does it mean something? What am I supposed to do now??_

The small brunette was in literal shock. The object of his fond feelings had finally done something that could have be seen as a way of showing affection or at least attention. Togami had been cold and distant to everyone, including Makoto, and the latter had been hoping days on end for it to change somehow. And this; this definitely was a change, but what kind of change? How was Makoto supposed to react to this? What was he supposed to think, to do?

_God, how I wanted him to just wrap his beautiful long fingers around my hand. Why did my instincts have to tell me to pull my hand away? Now there’s no way of knowing what Togami-kun was actually about to do! I’m an idiot!_

Makoto buried his face into his pillow, finding it hard to breathe but not caring at all about that. All he really cared about at the moment was finding out why the gorgeous blonde boy had done what he had done. The reasoning behind Togami’s odd actions. Was there something Makoto was not aware of in the slightest? Had he been completely wrong about something crucial? Well, there really was no way of finding that out, since the brunette had already promised himself something a long time ago.

_I will never let Togami-kun know that I’m in love with him. Ever._

* * *

_I have never in my noble life ever done something so reckless! What the hell is the matter with me?_

Togami was sitting by the desk in his room, holding his head in his hands and trying to figure out what had gotten into him before in the dining hall. Why had he touched Makoto’s hand like that? What had given him the courage to do something that could’ve totally ruined everything for him? Ever since the heir had realized he had some kind of affectionate feelings towards the small brunette, he’d sworn to himself to keep them in and never let them show. He was certain that if he kept pretending that there were no feelings present in the first place, they’d slowly turn into nonexistent, almost as if Togami had just imagined them all along. But, as it evidently had turned out, that was not the case. He was way deeper than he’d known.

_What am I supposed to do now? I have to face Naegi in a few minutes! The class is about to start, and I’m still in my room, moping around because of some stupid crush I have on the most regular guy in the school._

Togami sighed. He had to get himself together and just face the brunette. There was no way he’d skip classes because of this; he was still a Togami, after all.

“Come on”, the blonde whispered to himself and rubbed his face in an attempt to wake himself from some sort of trance he’d been in ever since the incident happened with Makoto. He needed to get going. He put on his eyeglasses, tried to make himself look presentable and left the dorm. The English lesson was about to start.

The corridors were filled with students, and Togami was positive he wouldn’t be able to see Makoto there. He sighed with contentment; the last thing he needed right now was to pump into the brunette, because that would result in one thing and one thing only: he’d had to explain himself.

Togami walked towards the classroom, not seeing even a glimpse of Makoto on the way. As he was just about to enter the classroom, he felt someone clearly looking at him from across the hall. The blonde turned his head and saw _him_ there.

_Naegi._

The heir froze. He couldn’t move a single muscle. He just kept staring at the short boy who had an expression Togami couldn’t read. Heartbeat quickening, blood rushing to the blonde’s face, hands sweating… The time around them stopped. The couple of seconds they spent staring at each other like that felt like a lifetime. Something deep inside of Togami’s soul told him to never stop looking at Makoto. It was as if the heir was afraid the other boy would just… disappear if he looked somewhere else.

“Naegi…”

* * *

_What the hell am I supposed to do NOW??_

It was like Makoto’s feet were glued to the floor. His classmates kept walking past him, but he didn’t even notice them, because at that moment, everything that his brain could even register was Togami staring right at him across the hall.

_What is this feeling?_

The more Makoto kept trying to understand what it was that he was feeling, the more confusing it got. It was like, somehow, for some reason, the brunette’s gut told him to… walk to Togami? But why would he do that? It wasn’t like there was really a reason for the pretty blonde to stare at him like that. And even if there was, it was probably just him staring at Makoto because he had run away like a fucking child the last time they saw each other.

_He probably thinks I’m an idiot. Which I am, truth to be told._

The situation had grown pretty awkward and intense. It had to be resolved, somehow. Makoto took a deep breath and prepared himself.

_Oh, what the hell._

The brunette took a few steps toward the heir, whose expression shifted instantly as he saw the other boy walking in his direction. Makoto tried all he could to make out the meaning of Togami’s expression, but once again, the blonde was a completely mystery. Makoto just had to try and see for himself.

Through the crowd, Makoto walked up to Togami and stopped right in front of the taller boy. He looked up at the heir and felt his chest tighten. Togami never failed to make Makoto’s breath hitch; he was just so beautiful.

“T-Togami-kun, let me–“

“No, Naegi, don’t.”

“Huh?”

Togami sighed deeply. He shifted his look down to his shoes, looking very distressed. Makoto wondered if he should’ve been worried about the blonde. Then, the heir spoke again.

“Don’t say anything. I won’t do that again, I promise. Now, if you’d excuse me, I have a class to attend.”

Then, Togami simply left. He walked past Makoto, leaving the brunette there, standing all alone, wondering what it was that he’d done to upset the heir like that. The shortness of breath was instantly replaced by a feeling of emptiness in the brunette’s chest. He was afraid; afraid that he’d done something irredeemable. Afraid that he’d lose Togami forever.

_I’ve ruined it, haven’t I? I’ve ruined our friendship for good, now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your support! <3 please, leave a kudos or a comment if you liked this chapter. i'll be back with another chapter of this fic or the other multichapter fic soon, dw!


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acting like everything is normal should help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!! i'm back at updating this fic, i hope at least some of you are still interested in seeing where this will go. i'm studying again, so i won't probably have that much time to write fics since i'm always writing something related to school (studying literature just is like that). but don't worry, i'll try my best to remain active! hope you've had a great week, enjoy the new chapter! <3

The English class went by slower than ever. Makoto couldn’t concentrate properly on anything the teacher was trying to get the students to understand since his mind was on something else entirely.

_Why had Togami-kun acted like that? Is he mad at me? Oh god, he’s probably mad at me for running away like that. Why do I have to be such a child?_

The brunette always found himself staring at the pretty blonde across the classroom whenever thoughts like that entered his mind. He could sense the awkward tension between the two of them even though they weren’t close to each other at all. Makoto wondered how he could make everything go back to normal. Togami was a good friend; he couldn’t risk losing him just because of some stupid schoolboy crush. Makoto sighed and set his face in his hands.

_Maybe it’s for the best to just let it go. Try to be as much of a friend as possible._

And that’s what Makoto decided to do. He decided to go talk to Togami after the class, just like they used to, without bringing up the weirdness that had happened between them. Maybe, just maybe, pretending like everything was okay and nothing had messed with their friendship was bound to fix everything.

So, Makoto waited. He waited for the bell to ring while trying to think of ways to spark up a conversation with Togami. What he would say to the tall boy, how he would manage to hide his blush and other signs of embarrassment and infatuation… It all felt so hard, but the brunette knew he had to sacrifice something in order to keep Togami in his life. And that’s all he really wanted.

When the clock finally struck even, Makoto began instantly gathering his things and stuffing them in his back bag. He stormed out of the classroom as quickly as possible, being the first one to leave. He stayed outside the classroom, waiting for Togami who always left the classes as the last one. Finally, Makoto saw the pretty blonde boy strolling to the corridor, and his heart instantly skipped a few beats.

_Why does he have to be so beautiful? It’s messing with my plan!_

Makoto tried his best to keep his calm and approached Togami who had already noticed the brunette. The expression on the heir’s face reflected worry and anxiety, as if seeing Makoto made him feel some sort of… guilt?

Now, Makoto was standing in front of Togami, looking at him in the eyes and willing himself to just keep smiling and acting like his heart wasn’t doing flips in his chest just from looking at the boy in front of him. He smiled up at the blonde, making sure he appeared as his typical optimistic self.

“Hey, Togami-kun! I was just waiting for you. Wanna go grab a bite with me?” Makoto cheered, almost surprising himself with how convincing he could be. As he kept looking at Togami’s beautiful face, Makoto was sure he saw some kind of change in the expression; change to a more hopeful kind of look.

_God, I hope this works!_

Togami adjusted his glasses swiftly and looked away from the brunette. “I don’t see a problem with that, Naegi.”

Makoto’s face lit up with hopefulness. He felt as though he had managed to turn the situation around. Maybe things would be normal again between him and Togami.

He smiled up at the tall blonde, and without even realizing it, he took a hold of Togami’s wrist. “Great! Let’s get going then!”

***

As he was being dragged around by Makoto, Togami felt the familiar feeling in his chest; the feeling of his heart not being able to stay calm around the small brunette. Feeling Makoto’s tiny hand around his wrist, body heat radiating from it, coating all of Togami’s limbs in its coziness and familiarity, the heir couldn’t help but smile a little. It was as if nothing out of the ordinary had even happened between the two of them. There they were, going to have a snack after class, Makoto taking the lead as usual. Everything was back to normal, and Togami couldn’t be happier. He had been so afraid of losing one of his friends – well, to be honest, his only friend – because of a stupid thing he’d done without thinking at all. The crush Togami had on Makoto had completely taken control over every little interaction he had with the brunette. It needed to stop.

_Maybe I should just… let it go._

And that’s what Togami decided to do. He decided to try his best to ignore the butterflies in his stomach whenever Makoto smiled at him, looked at him with those sparkling hazel eyes, touched him even a little. He decided to let the daydreams of kissing Makoto tenderly on a sunny autumn morning go. He decided he wouldn’t have dreams of making love to Makoto never again. All of that had to go if Togami wanted the brunette to stay in his life.

_I cannot ruin the only good thing I have in my life._

Without even realizing it, Togami had arrived in the dining hall with Makoto still pulling him from his wrist. The place was crowded with students who were having a break from classes. Togami never really enjoyed hanging around in the dining hall, it wasn’t something he would normally do. But with Makoto, everything just felt right. With Makoto going on about something he’d heard from Sayaka or Chihiro, Togami forgot about all the other people that were in the dining hall, making a huge noise. He just didn’t care. All he cared about was listening to the stories the cute brunette in front of him had to tell. All he cared about was to hear Makoto laugh and see his face splitting into a heartwarming smile.

Togami turned to look at the boy next to him who was trying to find a place for them to sit, and he felt complete. Just having Makoto there, beside him, made him feel whole. A tiny blush made its way on the blonde’s cheeks, and he was afraid.

_Don’t let your heart take the lead again._

“Ah! There’s a table for us! Come on, Togami-kun, let’s go there!” Makoto cheered suddenly and pulled Togami out of his thoughts. The tiny brunette dragged the much taller blonde around the dining hall to the small table that had only two seats. They took their seats and looked at each other over the able. Togami was afraid he was wearing his heart on his sleeve.

_Don’t let it show, just don’t let it show._

“I can go get you something! What do you want?” Makoto asked, smiling. Why was it always so hard to breathe whenever the brunette smiled like that?

“My preferences haven’t changed.”

No, Togami’s preferences for midday snack hadn’t changed, but neither had his preferences for a potential boyfriend.

_Oh god, this isn’t going well._

“So a cup of civet coffee without sugar it is”, Makoto grinned at Togami and turned around on his heels, making his way toward the kitchen and leaving the heir feeling flustered, once again.

Togami hid his burning face in his hands and sighed. Slowly, he took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes with his thumbs. He tried to calm his breath, to make his heartbeat even and not so rapid. Togami could’ve sworn his face was glowing with a deep blush, and it was making him feel embarrassed. Why did Makoto have to be so cute? Why did he have to be so perfect, meeting every one of Togami’s standards? The heir knew that the brunette was everything he wanted, everything he needed in his life to be happy, to feel content. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make that feeling go away. He could try to stop daydreaming of Makoto’s lips on his all he wanted, but that didn’t mean it would work out. And it didn’t work out, since there he was, the great Byakuya Togami, once again thinking of how absolutely perfect it would feel to kiss the cute brunette, to feel his lips moving against Togami’s own, to feel Makoto almost melting into his touch, clinging to his dress shirt, making small sounds of contentment.

Togami was way too deep in his thoughts again that he didn’t notice Makoto arriving. The brunette placed the drinks on the table and spoke up.

“Is everything okay, Togami-kun?”

The heir lifted his head and looked at the brunette in front of him. Makoto had a slightly worried expression on his cute, freckled face, and Togami was sure he was still blushing. He placed his eyeglasses back on and looked at the boy again, now seeing his features even clearer. Big hazel eyes glued to Togami, sparkling with stars and hope, small nose covered in tiny freckles, mouth hanging slightly open, pink lips looking so soft…

“Togami-kun?”

_No._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, leave a kudos or a comment if you liked this chapter! i'd love to hear your thoughts <3 also, feel free to contact me on instagram if you want to, naegami.simp is my acc!


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